Posts Tagged ‘characteristics’

This blog is about the ability to be clear with one’s intention. When you are clear about your intention then anything and everything can happen.


I was laying in bed one morning thinking about what I wanted in my partner, whom I would like to marry. It had been a few months after I had ended a wonderful relationship because one of my non-negotiables was not able to be met – getting married. Being married was emotionally and spiritually important to me.

I thought about digging out my peach colored list that I had started ten years prior. Then I remembered my notebook that had my 40 Something List. I started to think about what was on my list, both the negotiables and the non-negotiables. I spent the morning mentally working my way through most of these 15 steps. Getting clear, making sure the closets were cleaned out, making time and space for him to show up. Thinking about how I would energetically recognize him and what attributes and traits I wanted in my life partner, my marvelous match. I thought about the celestial influences, that might make a difference or not as the case would be. I began mentally to compose a new personal ad as my previous one was four years old. And I thought about where I would place the ad and what girlfriends I would send it to.

That night, yes, that night I met him unexpectedly at a contra dance. He was passing through town and lived half way across the country. A friend had told him about the dance. I almost didn’t go, but decided to get some exercise and clear my head so I could finish a major project later that night.

When we danced that one dance something clicked. There was a huge spark! We both felt it and recognized it. We changed our schedules over the next five days to spend as much time together as possible.

One of those evenings I read him a passage from a book of Celtic wisdom, Anam Cara by John O’Donohue. A few years prior to meeting my champion I had been my mother’s primary caregiver when she was receiving hospice care at home. While she slept during the day, I sorted through her boxes to begin the inevitable cleaning out of her house. At night I read the books that had caught my eye. Anam Cara became a source of inspiration and helped me understand many things I was experiencing. It also served as well as guidance to help me understand my want to be in relationship with someone special. I had come across a passage that made me believe that my champion would the person who agreed that the passage described the connection between us. When I read it to my champion he did not need to say anything, he simply nodded and kissed me.


A few days later, when he left town he said, “Take care of my heart.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Take care of my heart,” he repeated. “You have a piece of it.”


Over the next nine months we traveled to see each other. Then I closed my business and moved halfway across the country to be with him. Nine months later we were engaged to be married, something that was important to both of us. He is my champion; we are one heart, one love, one clay.
I share this with you so you know that it is possible to manifest your perfect match.


From Anam Cara by John O’Donohue

Love as Ancient Recognition

Real friendship or love is not manufactured or achieved by an act of will or intention. Friendship is always an act of recognition. This metaphor of friendship can be grounded in the clay nature of the human body. When you find the person you love, an act of ancient recognition brings you together. It is as if millions of years before the silence of nature broke, your lover’s clay and your clay lay side by side.

Then in the turning of the seasons, your one clay divided and separated. You began to rise as distinct clay forms, each housing a different individuality and destiny. Without even knowing it, your secret memory mourned your loss of each other. While your clay selves wandered for thousands of years through the universe, your longing for each other never faded.

This metaphor helps to explain how in the moment of friendship two souls suddenly recognize each other. It could be a meeting on the street, or at a party or a lecture, or just a simple, banal introduction, then suddenly there is a flash of recognition and the embers of kinship glow. There is an awakening between you, a sense of ancient knowing. Love opens the door of ancient recognition. You enter. You come home to each other at last. As Euripides said, “Two friends, one soul.”

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Be clear, be specific about what you want regarding finding your marvelous match.

I’m enjoying listening to the rain on the roof as I post up the last few steps to manifesting your marvelous match. In doing so I came across a note to my self about a topic that I have been wanting to elaborate on.

My note reads:

Clarify the differences of “I want to meet someone who…,” is a whole lot different from “I want to date…,” is very different from “I want a life partner who…”

As you read this you probably think “Well that’s obvious.” And it should be obvious. My question to you is “Which one do you say to yourself? Which one do you tell others?”

“I want to meet someone who…” simply tells us and the universe that you would be pleased to meet someone with the traits listed in your 40 Something List. They might sit next to you at a concert or on an airplane. Your meeting may be brief and your interaction ends when the concert hall lights come up or the plane lands. Then they walk out of your life.

Do you call out, “But wait, come back, you have everything I’ve been looking for in a partner”? You probably sigh as they vanish. And then with your next breath inhale the moment, trying to hold on to the specialness of the ephemeral encounter.

“I want to date…” gets a little closer to the truth of the matter, but it does not convey the entire essence of what you seek. I’ve heard many times that someone was dating a wonderful person, one who embodied (almost) everything on their 40 Something List, only for them to later discover (sometimes months later) that their date was not interested in a life-long commitment.

“I want a life partner who…” tells yourself, me, your brother, uncle, best friend and the universe what you truly seek—your marvelous match, your champion, your special someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.

It is vital for you to use specific words to communicate verbally and energetically what it is that your heart and your soul desires. Each time you think about or speak about manifesting your marvelous match, make sure your brain, heart and mouth are using the same vocabulary. Are your brain, heart and mouth communicating the same thing?

Or is your heart saying you want to marry your life partner, while your brain interprets it as you want to date someone who encompasses your 40 Something List, because you have to date them before you marry them? And your mouth interprets it out loud as you want to meet someone, because you have to meet them before you date them before you can spend the rest of your life with them.

Get clear and specific. It’s not difficult if you spend a little time paying attention to what you think and say and clearly communicate what you want regarding your champion.

Hopefully this will inspire you to continue moving forward on your journey to manifest your marvelous match.


Have you slipped up on specificity and clarity about your desires?

How are things progressing for you?

Have other bits of life interrupted your search?

Have you needed a little nudge to move forward?

And if you have met your champion, whether or not you’ve completed all 14 steps and 3 tests, please post in the comments below your good news.

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